Get at the heart of the matter

I grew up in church and the idea of singing to God with a group of people (in “worship”) is not new to me.

When I turned 15 (almost 16), I ask God this question… “How can you hear me, there’s a lot of people around the world singing to you (not to mention the angels too) in worship”.

(I ask this question,while sitting on the top bunk of my freshmen college dorm bed. During this semester someone’s starting to disciple me and highly” encouraging me to draw near to God. She’s always at the hallway of my economics class every week, waiting for my class to end so we can start another chapter in our one2one “date”.)

His only reply was…

I can hear your heart.

I will never forget this answer.  As I read His word, I keep seeing verses such as these:

Let you heart..

Worship –

19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.   — Ephesians 5: 19 – 20 ( Nice to read the verse before this, 18th )

Obedience (Christ Lordship)
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, — 1 Peter 3:15

Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart — Ephesians 6:6

Purity

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God — Matthew 5:8

I believe if you please God (by faith) in your heart, His the one who will give you favor among men.

(Let not you heart..) In my heart I can also commit crimes  – 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. – Matthew 15:19

…list goes on and on, it’s one of the battlefields we should live out our victory daily – our heart.  Battles I manage to win from the outside but barely survive on the inside (ranging from “sometime” to “most of the time”)

Where does my victory come from ?

Victory’s a won through CHRIST  Jesus. He came and teach/preach a radical lifestyle free from pretense. Living a double life is very tiring (inside my heart and outward appearance). I hope to live a relevant life. A person my friends can relate to and at the same time God is pleased when He looks at my heart.

What’s inside will eventually march outside, this will be expressed in everything (all) we do. Our words, actions, attitudes, what we wear, post, likes, tweets, adore, follow, and admire.

Doing what is right and good  out of  self-recognition and appearance (or what’s expected of you) is very different from self-control. I hope I don’t get  pretense and self-control mixed up. Motives – is what set these two apart.

Motives is one thing man’s eye cannot see, but this is what God weighs, things that are hidden and unseen.

People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD. – Proverbs 16:2

Motive is the reason God looks at the heart, His the only one who can justly weigh them.

By the end of the day, I hope this is the only applause I should long for:

4 For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.  — 1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT)

Easily said than done, so I should consciously guard my heart. We will not be perfect (in this earth), its not about perfection or being yourself — its all about being CHRISTLIKE. How can you be like Him if you do not know Him, I hope to draw near to you my Jesus.

Its easy to get in the “church” fad – walk where the crowd goes.  Fads change but  God’s word remains, seek him with all your heart. Hide His word in your heart.  I hope God’s word will guide my every motive and every reason.

Everyday, I still sit at the edge of my bed to set apart God in my heart, I can still remember the first time I ask and He still reminds me..

I can hear your heart.

As I seize the day, I’m both glad and fearful He can.

What consumes my heart? Eventually these things will march outside.

Who sits on the throne of my heart ? Me, My dreams or Christ.

“From my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center, it’s all about you, yes its all about you.”

— Jesus Center of it All  by Israel Houghton

Your Royal – wear not just your tiara, wear your armor.

Last week, we held our Victory Weekend here at Santa Rosa, this is a two-day retreat helps us deepen our relationship with God. It’s a privilege to speak in one of the session about our “Identity”. My first to teach  adults regarding this topic, always been teaching the kids :).

One of the scripture in the material…

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9

… says we are “Royal”, meaning we have a royal bloodline. How come ?
My father and mother come from humble background , I can say noble but not actually royal.

We are royal because of Christ blood shed on the cross for you and me. His death enabled us
to be adopted to God’s family and co-heirs to his kingdom – settled & sealed I’m royalty! God is the King
of Kings, I am His daughter which makes me a “princess” [wide eye disney version awwwww].

Growing up, I know this not just in my head but in my heart. Regardless of what people do or say to me this is my value —  this is how my father in heaven values me.   I put on my invisible tiara and conquer  the world.

Tonight, I can’t sleep – is this how God wants me to walk on this earth. Again, truth comes from His word.

God gave me more than just my “invisible” tiara,  more than the crown,  this is what God wants me to wear.
His full armor – (Ephesians 6:12-17)

To all the Princessess out in the world, before seeking out your destiny or waiting for your prince. Clothe yourselves with these:

1. Belt of Truth – Truth hold everything together. Tell the truth and live your life by the truth, look with diligent focus on God’s word who you are. Be real, don’t live and pretend to be someone your not (Eph 6:13,14)

2. Breastplate of Righteousness – covers your heart, it protects your feelings & emotions, also covers the breast – God desires to protect your body, He has intended it for the man you (will) marry. Righteousness means when you accepted Jesus as Lord, his righteousness become your righteousness. Your are now in the right standing with God. (Eph 6:14)

3. Pair of shoes! (Nothing beats a good pair of shoes) – shoes of our inner person come from the GOOD News of Jesus Christ – he came to save us from sin, death & sickness. When we put on these shoes we put on the peace that our eternal destiny is secure. (Eph 6:15)

4. Faith – our bling! glares like a shiny shield protecting you from the attacks of the enemy. Seen in your attitude, faith will not let you sink into self-pity when things don’t go your way. Faith stands strong, knowing that God has the best for you, His enabling you to achieve it. (Eph 6:16)

5. Helmet of Salvation – protects not only your face but also your mind. Not just “fair” faces pleasing to the eye, God wants us to have pleasing minds. Helmets to protect our mind. You are saved! Jesus died tor bring us salvation, restore us and make us whole. Our thoughts can be so damaging if we let it roam in the wrong direction – when we understand that salvation has so many good things for us, we can train our thoughts stay positive back on the course. (Eph 6:17)

6. Sword of the Spirit – put on God’s word and prepare yourself to life, when you need wisdom you’ll be able to find God’s word in your heart because you put it there (meditated on it). (Eph 6:17)

Lastly always…

7. Pray – in all occasions. Pray for the right things, pray for things in line with what the bible says. (Eph 6:18)

(Armor of God explanation from “Little Pink Book on what to wear” by Cathy Bartel)

Conversation with Denise made me want to watch LOTR again and I did, this movie’s awesome and I’m looking forward reading the book.

I remember this princess,  she’s more than “pleasing to the eye” — not just beautiful.

Eowyn, Princess of Rohan – Tolkien writes that she longed to win renown in battle—more so because she was royal.  To me this is a picture of “a daughter of a king”. In the movie,  there are scenes she’s not even wearing her tiara, but that does not make her less of a royalty.

Éowyn stabbed her sword through the Witch-King’s head and killing him – seems not princess like ei!
But I sure like to stab the enemy and its lies – with the sword given to me.

Eowyn does not seem to have a problem standing regal in a dress  (and tiara) …

or standing brave in an armor (ready to wield the sword)

I hope to win victories won for me long ago, to put on the full armor of God and walk (and fight) in these battles like a princess. To all the ladies born-again in this royal bloodline,  I believe we need to choose to walk like this daily.

I hope we will not be princesses that are hard to please with “hight standards” on petty things.
Standards are good, in fact you should have one (I do). Standards are different from whims.

Let us not be spoiled princesses sitting on her throne more concern of  outward appearance, yet her inner-self looking harass and helpless.  Waiting for a charming prince to win her heart or rescue. You we’re rescued and offered salvation two thousand years ago – not by means of a metal sword but by the nails that pierced Jesus.

Hello November!

November’s almost over. I’m savoring last few days of staying home and doing nothing. “Nothing” is an under statement.

After my resignation, I stayed home for a while. I tried doing our laundry for a while. I realize I’m not good with that. I’m hoping to fix the cabinet and window fixture (buy new blinds) before starting on my new job this coming Monday. Madaming kaylangan ayusin sa bahay pero ngayon ko lang nakikita. Staying home, makes me want to create a better “home”.

November made me realize, I have “home projects”. My husband and I hope to accomplish these list before 2011. Wow, 2010’s almost over.

I’m also researching environment friendly soap, shampoo and home cleaners, so far there’s a lot of online store you can buy these things. I’m excited for the delivery. One more week of  home improvement, I hope the electrician can drop by this Tuesday to fix some wiring.

I’ve always enjoyed doing grocery or cooking. Now I’m beginning to appreciate decorating and improving the house. This Christmas, decorations are up since October :D. We have our first christmas tree this year.

November pass quickly. Surprisingly, lack of eight hour a day of internet made me productive elsewhere. I also realize being a full time wife is not easy, if you choose to see home improvements and help your husband brainstorm ideas for tomorrow’s work. I also realize wives are a suitable helper to their husband. I love devoting undivided time helping Jerry for the past one month and a half. I also enjoy taking care of him and accompanying him to the dentist. I saw my husband sit on the dentist chair like  a kiddo.

November’s a breather. I enjoyed it very much, oh and by the way I have a new appreciation for Mac. Thank you honey for letting me use this laptop. I’m challenged by December (hope to post on my first day wink*).

Remembering who I am

I can’t sleep so I opt to review my past blog site on Xanga.

I remember how fun it is to be in college andwriting some of my thoughts/questions. While reading my concerns (I’m around 21-22 during this time), feels like looking at the mirror. I was able to document my growing feeling or shall I say anxiety on Jerry’s affection to me. Wahahaha! eh ngayon husband ko na sya.

My Xanga post usually talks about him, my blog since April 23, 2005: Bus Rides indeed changed my life.
*I’ll write a whole blog on this someday. 😀

I hope to move my Xanga entries here soon, as well as my multiply entries.

True North

I’ve been meaning to write something but I can’t.
I’ve been meaning to tell but I had to wait.

I’ve been thinking though I need to be empty.
I’ve been thinking of ways but I’m at a dead end.

I’m here but nowhere, in here but somewhere.
Almost near but time pass without telling.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes.
I need to find my north, my true north.

For where I will go, there I will sow.
A half ended thought.

Super Power On!

Yeah, I’ve never felt so tired.. whew!  I felt this way back in college having school and youth camps all the same time. I can’t imagine how I cope up with the pressure.

Lately at Victory Pioneer Boot Camp last May 24-26 my “reserve battery” got tested. There’s  a few things and phrases that become a reality for me.

G-Armor Armed and Ready! May 24-26, 2010: Rizal Re-Creation Center

1. Prayer works.

Prayer works a 100%, our Day 1 started  and we face a handful of challenges. We have two choices to start the next day with some regrets (light didn’t work, stuff din’t work out as we planned) or hope and pray  for a better day. We prayed and it worked. The following days gets better and bigger (more fun and more of God’s presence – He never fails).

Super Power On! – Prayer

2. You can’t do everything – YOU need a TEAM.

This camp I saw team work come to play, everyone giving their best. The teachers tirelessly giving their self and the kids – having fun – wow dami energy.

3. You can learn anything, we can’t say it can’t be done, especially with a TEAM.

I’m glad I had a privilege to work with these people, to serve, to worship and pray with them. I can say I have come to know them a little bit more than casual “hi” and “hello”.

5.  Nothing is impossible, whatever it takes!

Lastly, I can say it’s worth it. Seeing young generation experience God and worship makes these 3 day camp worth it.

NOW, I’m back in my desk “tapping away” codes – that will be websites in a few days. I’m excited.. something in me was renewed (or awakened).  You think you can do it, alone, nah… work at it with all your heart and pray with all your heart. Glad I’m with a TEAM always – I miss the office …glad I’m back. (cheeezzzzy)

I need to hit the “brake” today

before I fall let’s hit the brake

I need to hit the “brake”  in my life today before tumbling down.

Squeezing this post in between some house chores – while soaking some clothes in fabric softener. Nagpapalaba kami but there’s some that I prefer to hand wash.

I’m talking to two people yesterday and I can’t help but wonder and reflect what’s in my heart.

3 questions prompts me and makes my mind wander while my hands are full (with chores today)

Here’s some questions that bothers me?

Do I fully rely on God’s grace?
Do I “wing it” sometime?

If I’m confident in doing something do I perform for man or to please God?

Do I perceive myself to be better than others or label(negatively) them?

One instance of failure does not define one man’s whole life (I think). I’ve seen and heard people (including myself) label people, now reflecting on it, it’s not nice at all.  Even if your intentions are good may our word be filtered with love.

Today, I’m reminded to rely on God’s grace. I’m not able apart from Him.

Can I make myself wake up in the morning? No
Can I create the air that I breath and desperately need? No
Where does wisdom to fanthom things come from? (Including work related things) from God

One sickness or an accident can just wipe me off the face of the earth. What can I boast I’m just a fragile human compared to forces of nature.

All this I exist because of God’s grace and LOVE.
All skills, achievements and influence I have, I have because God enabled and allowed.

I need to hit the “brake” in life for a pause and have a proper perspective on things.  Today, this verse pop’s in my head, like a line in a song (we call it last song syndrome – LSS)

Proverbs 16:18

18 Pride goes before destruction,

a haughty spirit before a fall.

My small victories in life may go up my head and not my heart.  If it goes in my head alone will produce pride. If it goes to my heart (with right attitude) – all I can say is I’m thankful because (my God) your with me and enables me. My head should always have the knowledge that it’s Him who enables me.

I’m ready to go out again and hold on to my Father’s hand.

Day 3: We went to the other side — yup it’s Boradise.

Today, our day started out with one thing in mind – pupunta kami ng Puka Beach at aakat ng Mt. Luho. I’m excited to explore – there must be more.

Breakfast tapsilog with candle light 😀

Kindat naman dyan! – seeing his face pag morning is the best 😀

After breakfast, I plan to post our Bora Day1 and Day 2 accounts but JJ and Elmer’s texting already… time to go. Just a quick shower and we’re off to the other side — but before that kumain muna kami sa Smokes.

Smokes – located at station 2 (I think) another nicely priced lutong bahay kainan – masarap!

We ordered..

Sinigang at beef with sauce (I’m not sure if this is beef salpicao)

Ginataang fish – di ko alam kung anong fish eh..

At dumating na si Tim – with braided hair 😀

Pagkatapos mag load ng energy — sumakay kami ng tricycle for only 150php papuntang Puka beach – wow ganda dun.

First stop – Puka Beach — Wow

My honey enjoying the clear blue water

We found white crab!

JJ and Elmer found a shade – when the three went for a swim and snorkel. Jerry took a nap while I took some pictures

We found an A shaped coral :D.

A for JJ – cleaning the beach

it’s a mix of sand, coral and shell – beautiful shore

Had a lazy afternoon eating ice cream and chicharon 😀

Before we leave – we found a heart shaped coral

I like this beach more than the other side – Puka beach does not have too many resort or hotels. It’s peaceful and beautiful indeed. After long beach walk, a nap and lots of pictures ng shell at corals we opt to ride tricycle to Mt. Luho. The road is paved and you will have a nice view.

View from Mt. Luho.. this is the island Boracay

The gang – Tim’s taking picture

To be continued again…this 2nd day I saw why Boracay is called Boradise – hehehe but the part away from the crowd. We had a great time!

Day 2: Boracay not yet Boradise in my eyes :D

Our day started with a late brunch (9:30am) and free wifi.. tap tap tap

Boracay still not a WOW for me until today. Powdery yung beach but so far I still like Pagudpod’s blue lagoon water.

Day 2, after a tiring first day, we opt to have a slow and restful 2nd day — for me. Jerry, my husband have a wedding rehearsal to go to. Our inn’s inclusive of free breaksfast, I recommend staying here if you don’t mind walking around 2 minutes to the beach – station 1.

Our hotel’s a 10 room hotel called Milflores de Boracay it’s cozy and service’ personal – will do a seperate post for our hotel room :D.

We had cornbeef, egg and friend rice. Coffee and Dalandan juice for drinks and mango for dessert

We’re attending a wedding this 4PM and my husband will sing along with some friends for the ceremony and reception. While he rehearse with the band, I stayed in our room 😀 sarap! a time alone with books, TV and practicing focus for picture taking. Wedding’s gonna happen at Waling Waling – around 10 minutes walk away from our hotel or 1 minute away if you take a tricycle.

All morning I stayed in our room, sleep and practice taking picture of my new souvenier bag

beach wedding, white powdery beach

by 4PM we’re at Waling Waling Hotel, for Maya and Lesly’s wedding

We’re early so I get to take some pictures — Ceremony Setup saya mag take ng pictures!

Orange heart 😀 sa aile.

ganda ng setup – reception area – for dinner

Start na! The Crowd

Bride and Groom saying I do’s

Groom and bride – before their jump shot 😀 – naka chucks yung couple nicee! Pero di ko nakunan ng picture 😦

at nawalan na ko ng battery, di ko nakunan ng picture yung recepcion.

We love their buffet food of – baked oyster, shrimp, grilled pusit, vegetable pasta and many more (di ako kumuha ng ibang food aside from sea food). After the our sea food dinner my husband said “Parang chicken na rin yung lasa ng hipon pag madami na” (yup his right). There’s beef and chicken – too. For dessert they have a ref cake, fresh fruits and freshly made crepe. Lahat yun gusto ko kunan ng picture..but I guess sa next wedding na lang.

There’s an after wedding party but we stayed upto 11PM only — we’re ready to go home and sleep after that. Big day tomorrow! Puka beach and Mt. Luho here we come…

Day 1: Boradise or just Bora? (Part 2)

..continued 😀

Galing kaming puka beach and Mt. Pulog (will post pics on that too  and Mt. Luho) at gumastos lang kami ng 80Php each (5 kami) for transportation — nice!

Back to our day 1 photos and captions…

after our boat ride, wait for our tricyle ride going to Milflores

after check in, quick change picture picture sa front ng Milflores

after late lunch,, sobrang gutom di ko na nag picture… then explore na. Can I have this bag pleeze?

May starbucks sa bora 😀

We take a quick swip or lets say dip sa water, malamig 😀 and head back to our room to rest.. then we visite D’Mall. I read about D’Mall a lot, so here’s how it looks like. Madaming bilihan ng food and kung ano ano, parang tiange. Pero I recommend eating there and not buying stuff there. D’Talipapa is the place to be, kung bibili ka ng souveniers.

ah.. ito pala ang D’Mall

D’Mall – where you will find boutique type bilihan ng anikanik – bags, souveniers, swim wear..etc. and nicely priced restos

So.. we want to eat seafood for dinner pumunta kami sa D’Talipapa – Angel Wish Restaurant. Nabasa ko ‘to sa isang blog so I want to taste their food for real. Parang carendria lang ‘to

Angel Wish – Nicely priced 😀

We ordered…

Calamare and Spanish gambas (spicy!)

Clam Chowder – nice! nakakatanggal ng spicy taste ng gambas

Matapos mabusog, umupo upo muna sa bench at D’Mall contemplating if we will buy dessert sa Red Bean

Hmm.. hindi na. We’re tired and busog! for the day – go around D’Mall, swim, go to D’Talipapa and we’re ready to go home.

Good night! – Veranda outside our room