Get at the heart of the matter

I grew up in church and the idea of singing to God with a group of people (in “worship”) is not new to me.

When I turned 15 (almost 16), I ask God this question… “How can you hear me, there’s a lot of people around the world singing to you (not to mention the angels too) in worship”.

(I ask this question,while sitting on the top bunk of my freshmen college dorm bed. During this semester someone’s starting to disciple me and highly” encouraging me to draw near to God. She’s always at the hallway of my economics class every week, waiting for my class to end so we can start another chapter in our one2one “date”.)

His only reply was…

I can hear your heart.

I will never forget this answer.  As I read His word, I keep seeing verses such as these:

Let you heart..


19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.   — Ephesians 5: 19 – 20 ( Nice to read the verse before this, 18th )

Obedience (Christ Lordship)
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, — 1 Peter 3:15

Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart — Ephesians 6:6


Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God — Matthew 5:8

I believe if you please God (by faith) in your heart, His the one who will give you favor among men.

(Let not you heart..) In my heart I can also commit crimes  – 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. – Matthew 15:19

…list goes on and on, it’s one of the battlefields we should live out our victory daily – our heart.  Battles I manage to win from the outside but barely survive on the inside (ranging from “sometime” to “most of the time”)

Where does my victory come from ?

Victory’s a won through CHRIST  Jesus. He came and teach/preach a radical lifestyle free from pretense. Living a double life is very tiring (inside my heart and outward appearance). I hope to live a relevant life. A person my friends can relate to and at the same time God is pleased when He looks at my heart.

What’s inside will eventually march outside, this will be expressed in everything (all) we do. Our words, actions, attitudes, what we wear, post, likes, tweets, adore, follow, and admire.

Doing what is right and good  out of  self-recognition and appearance (or what’s expected of you) is very different from self-control. I hope I don’t get  pretense and self-control mixed up. Motives – is what set these two apart.

Motives is one thing man’s eye cannot see, but this is what God weighs, things that are hidden and unseen.

People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD. – Proverbs 16:2

Motive is the reason God looks at the heart, His the only one who can justly weigh them.

By the end of the day, I hope this is the only applause I should long for:

4 For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.  — 1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT)

Easily said than done, so I should consciously guard my heart. We will not be perfect (in this earth), its not about perfection or being yourself — its all about being CHRISTLIKE. How can you be like Him if you do not know Him, I hope to draw near to you my Jesus.

Its easy to get in the “church” fad – walk where the crowd goes.  Fads change but  God’s word remains, seek him with all your heart. Hide His word in your heart.  I hope God’s word will guide my every motive and every reason.


Everyday, I still sit at the edge of my bed to set apart God in my heart, I can still remember the first time I ask and He still reminds me..

I can hear your heart.

As I seize the day, I’m both glad and fearful He can.

What consumes my heart? Eventually these things will march outside.

Who sits on the throne of my heart ? Me, My dreams or Christ.

“From my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center, it’s all about you, yes its all about you.”

— Jesus Center of it All  by Israel Houghton


Your Royal – wear not just your tiara, wear your armor.

Last week, we held our Victory Weekend here at Santa Rosa, this is a two-day retreat helps us deepen our relationship with God. It’s a privilege to speak in one of the session about our “Identity”. My first to teach  adults regarding this topic, always been teaching the kids :).

One of the scripture in the material…

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9

… says we are “Royal”, meaning we have a royal bloodline. How come ?
My father and mother come from humble background , I can say noble but not actually royal.

We are royal because of Christ blood shed on the cross for you and me. His death enabled us
to be adopted to God’s family and co-heirs to his kingdom – settled & sealed I’m royalty! God is the King
of Kings, I am His daughter which makes me a “princess” [wide eye disney version awwwww].

Growing up, I know this not just in my head but in my heart. Regardless of what people do or say to me this is my value —  this is how my father in heaven values me.   I put on my invisible tiara and conquer  the world.

Tonight, I can’t sleep – is this how God wants me to walk on this earth. Again, truth comes from His word.

God gave me more than just my “invisible” tiara,  more than the crown,  this is what God wants me to wear.
His full armor – (Ephesians 6:12-17)

To all the Princessess out in the world, before seeking out your destiny or waiting for your prince. Clothe yourselves with these:

1. Belt of Truth – Truth hold everything together. Tell the truth and live your life by the truth, look with diligent focus on God’s word who you are. Be real, don’t live and pretend to be someone your not (Eph 6:13,14)

2. Breastplate of Righteousness – covers your heart, it protects your feelings & emotions, also covers the breast – God desires to protect your body, He has intended it for the man you (will) marry. Righteousness means when you accepted Jesus as Lord, his righteousness become your righteousness. Your are now in the right standing with God. (Eph 6:14)

3. Pair of shoes! (Nothing beats a good pair of shoes) – shoes of our inner person come from the GOOD News of Jesus Christ – he came to save us from sin, death & sickness. When we put on these shoes we put on the peace that our eternal destiny is secure. (Eph 6:15)

4. Faith – our bling! glares like a shiny shield protecting you from the attacks of the enemy. Seen in your attitude, faith will not let you sink into self-pity when things don’t go your way. Faith stands strong, knowing that God has the best for you, His enabling you to achieve it. (Eph 6:16)

5. Helmet of Salvation – protects not only your face but also your mind. Not just “fair” faces pleasing to the eye, God wants us to have pleasing minds. Helmets to protect our mind. You are saved! Jesus died tor bring us salvation, restore us and make us whole. Our thoughts can be so damaging if we let it roam in the wrong direction – when we understand that salvation has so many good things for us, we can train our thoughts stay positive back on the course. (Eph 6:17)

6. Sword of the Spirit – put on God’s word and prepare yourself to life, when you need wisdom you’ll be able to find God’s word in your heart because you put it there (meditated on it). (Eph 6:17)

Lastly always…

7. Pray – in all occasions. Pray for the right things, pray for things in line with what the bible says. (Eph 6:18)

(Armor of God explanation from “Little Pink Book on what to wear” by Cathy Bartel)

Conversation with Denise made me want to watch LOTR again and I did, this movie’s awesome and I’m looking forward reading the book.

I remember this princess,  she’s more than “pleasing to the eye” — not just beautiful.

Eowyn, Princess of Rohan – Tolkien writes that she longed to win renown in battle—more so because she was royal.  To me this is a picture of “a daughter of a king”. In the movie,  there are scenes she’s not even wearing her tiara, but that does not make her less of a royalty.

Éowyn stabbed her sword through the Witch-King’s head and killing him – seems not princess like ei!
But I sure like to stab the enemy and its lies – with the sword given to me.

Eowyn does not seem to have a problem standing regal in a dress  (and tiara) …

or standing brave in an armor (ready to wield the sword)


I hope to win victories won for me long ago, to put on the full armor of God and walk (and fight) in these battles like a princess. To all the ladies born-again in this royal bloodline,  I believe we need to choose to walk like this daily.

I hope we will not be princesses that are hard to please with “hight standards” on petty things.
Standards are good, in fact you should have one (I do). Standards are different from whims.

Let us not be spoiled princesses sitting on her throne more concern of  outward appearance, yet her inner-self looking harass and helpless.  Waiting for a charming prince to win her heart or rescue. You we’re rescued and offered salvation two thousand years ago – not by means of a metal sword but by the nails that pierced Jesus.

I’ve been meaning to write something but I can’t.
I’ve been meaning to tell but I had to wait.

I’ve been thinking though I need to be empty.
I’ve been thinking of ways but I’m at a dead end.

I’m here but nowhere, in here but somewhere.
Almost near but time pass without telling.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes.
I need to find my north, my true north.

For where I will go, there I will sow.
A half ended thought.

I need to hit the “brake” today

before I fall let’s hit the brake

I need to hit the “brake”  in my life today before tumbling down.

Squeezing this post in between some house chores – while soaking some clothes in fabric softener. Nagpapalaba kami but there’s some that I prefer to hand wash.

I’m talking to two people yesterday and I can’t help but wonder and reflect what’s in my heart.

3 questions prompts me and makes my mind wander while my hands are full (with chores today)

Here’s some questions that bothers me?

Do I fully rely on God’s grace?
Do I “wing it” sometime?

If I’m confident in doing something do I perform for man or to please God?

Do I perceive myself to be better than others or label(negatively) them?

One instance of failure does not define one man’s whole life (I think). I’ve seen and heard people (including myself) label people, now reflecting on it, it’s not nice at all.  Even if your intentions are good may our word be filtered with love.

Today, I’m reminded to rely on God’s grace. I’m not able apart from Him.

Can I make myself wake up in the morning? No
Can I create the air that I breath and desperately need? No
Where does wisdom to fanthom things come from? (Including work related things) from God

One sickness or an accident can just wipe me off the face of the earth. What can I boast I’m just a fragile human compared to forces of nature.

All this I exist because of God’s grace and LOVE.
All skills, achievements and influence I have, I have because God enabled and allowed.

I need to hit the “brake” in life for a pause and have a proper perspective on things.  Today, this verse pop’s in my head, like a line in a song (we call it last song syndrome – LSS)

Proverbs 16:18

18 Pride goes before destruction,

a haughty spirit before a fall.

My small victories in life may go up my head and not my heart.  If it goes in my head alone will produce pride. If it goes to my heart (with right attitude) – all I can say is I’m thankful because (my God) your with me and enables me. My head should always have the knowledge that it’s Him who enables me.

I’m ready to go out again and hold on to my Father’s hand.